What Is Good Is Real

Three months we shared we built
A bond we thought
Could not be broken
Conversing, confiding, envisioning, anticipating
A future together
Spinning dreams
That would unravel
In a waking state

Then what we thought was small expanded
Visions stripped
Of youthful idealism
Crumbled
And all that was once beautiful became painted black
Rendered the product of dysfunction

But what is dysfunction a product of?

I opened me up to interpretation
Tried to resolve the contradiction
Between the carefree joyful and depressed
The motivated and exhausted
The inseparably connected yet still isolated
The thread that joins disjointed pieces
I have not found I only know that
What is good is real

I know that
Optimism is not a defense mechanism
Built on denial
Motivated by fear
Laughter is a way of embracing, not of escaping
A pain that has already filled buckets with tears
Layers and layers cover conceal
But I know that only
What is good is real

There is something good
Somewhere
Buried within the pain
And it’s the reason I keep on going
Never give up
Keep fighting
Searching
For a good
Too deep too complicated
For the naked eye to see

To come to terms with what is
Means to know
What runs deeper within it
Because dysfunction is but a distortion
Of something good and real.

Though it was my belief in this
Which encouraged me allowed me
To accept a way of living which no person should ever be
Satisfied contented with
It is this same belief that enables me
To endure, to survive and to thrive on
Demons that threaten to get me down

I’m hard to get rid of

Between us yes
There was darkness
Agonizing tension, instability, uncertainty
But there was so much more
So much that we cannot ignore
Respect appreciation inter-completion
A contradiction?
Still what is good is real

And the hidden forbidden hope
Discouraged perhaps unfounded
Is the remnant of a deep connection
I can’t let go yet

2 Comments

  1. Bella January 30, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    “To come to terms with what is means to know what runs deeper within it…”
    Everything comes from something, there is a reason for everything.
    This so resonated with me.
    So beautiful

    Reply
    1. Sara January 31, 2017 at 9:31 am

      Wow! Beautiful

      Reply

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