What Happened To Me?

I don’t know what happened to me
I’m not really sure, but I can’t let it be
There’s this tormenting feeling
With which I’m constantly dealing
Eats me up inside
there’s nowhere to hide
To the outside, a model of stability
But inside hiding shame and humility
Years of abuse forced me into maturity
Left all alone, no sense of security
Been fighting so long, I can’t find a cure
Alone in my thoughts, I know one thing for sure
Someone’s else’s actions
Have torn me to fractions
Blown apart from something so distant
Constant reminders pop up in an instant
A portion of who I could have been
Destroyed by someone else’s sin
will You ever know who I really am inside
You don’t understand a part of me has died
A brighter self born
From what was once torn
I wish I knew me too
After all that I’ve gone through
I can’t even fathom
Or expect you to imagine
Just know when I cry out “you don’t understand”
It’s just my way of asking to please hold my hand

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