Unwanted Visitor

My constant companion it’s not
and for that I’m grateful
I am.

but when it does come to visit
you’d never know that.

Its deep and mighty arms pull me into its grasp
choking and strangling
until I am one with it .

But it doesn’t capture me alone.
It entangles my life choices

my job
my education
my relationships
my community
my hopes and dreams
my goals for the future
my connection to G-D.

It filters my eyes
to see through a lens
of shame and anger
of hopelessness
and helplessness.

and it seems like it will never let go.

It screams at me
over and over

THIS IS IT
THIS IS YOUR LIFE
YOU WILL NEVER GET RID OF ME

and I believe it.

Although my mind tries to remind me of its impermanence
logic loses the fight
to this emotional reality
known as depression.

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