Unmask My Love

Whoa you think you know me but I’m so far from what I show
Yeah tell me where the hell am I on that gray rainbow
50 shades of freakin gray and I’d say I’m all of them
Here’s what’s on my mind got a minute please give me ten man

More white more black white black
Not clear all confused yeah
Is there something I lack
Got no clue help me out
Really low right now oh
Or am I high never know

They say be you but who’s me I don’t know myself
Understand still got to dig me out of my mess
I’m buried deep in piles of shatters of belief
Get my stuff together or stay alone in my grief
Where I come from to where I’m now it’s a big gap
Yet I look pretty similar I’m fake I’m trapped
Don’t know how to break free from that gate but ASAP
Needa go cuz ain’t got no more bullshit to snap back

Can’t just take off my mask
I was born with a task
People have expectations
Of things that are illusions
And it’s all really my problem
My doubts gotta resolve’em
I seek the inspiration
Gotta break free from my confusion

For a sec let me be bold
I was born there in the gold
That’s seeked out by young and old
But seems like I don’t fit that mold
I was born there with the crown
Above my head but lost my gown
From then I’ve been rolling down
You can find me out of town
Eh, out of town

Yeah cuz I’m not there no more
I ran out the door
And now my legs feel so sore
And I feel so poor
Gd please show me what I’m looking for
Open my eyes need to hear me roar?!

Why don’t I see it don’t get it
Always feel so much resentment
I’ll go ahead and blame my parents
T’wards who I got that feeling since
I was old enough to realize stuff
And took it all pretty rough
Reject the fluff
I’ve always wanted real wished to feel
Was I tricked into the wrong deal
Cuz all I got I felt is superficial
And you know what with all this artificial
Stuff I don’t want it so take it back
To your place
And let me go at my own pace
I don’t wanna be part of your race
I’ll search and that fight I’ll brace
Davay brother peace

And now looking for the truth
Something I can use to sooth
My pain my aching heart and mind
Looking and I didn’t yet find
Anything except getting behind
Got stuck deeper into in my own shit
I just caught feelings quite a bit
My heart was struck by something
Happened too fast wasn’t thinking

I sought help and found love
Just like that from above

But I was scared and I veered
In the other direction
Cuz here yes this is my biggest fear
Fear of being forgotten
By one I’ll never forget
And I’m here left with regret
He would’ve stayed but I didn’t let
Cuz what if we never met
I’d never been in love yet
And what my first time would be on the net
Without even a date
How much worse can it get
We got so close online
Spoke for so much time
While in real life
Boys I don’t talk to them
Never had a boyfriend
And yet I reached out to him and then
Things happened
Simple we connected
We cared we shared we related
To each other
Like lover to lover
And now it’s all over
This decision good or bad
Makes me feel all types of sad
And man I’m so mad
At myself cuz I could have
Just let things unroll
And now it’s kinda on hold
One day I could get a call
Or am I dreaming
Well yes I am
There’s not one day that goes by
Without him on my mind not gonna lie
It’s making me sick that I can’t talk to him
Time ticks and I’m still stuck in my problem
And hopin for that love dream
It’s all my fault it’s me
Who messes myself up see
I drew that invisible curtain
Keeping us from talkin
And man do I miss him
Do I wish I could embrace him
Talk to him tell him how I feel about him
Can I go back to the good times
Before having written all these rhymes
Having him make me smile
And make it last more than a while
Side by side
And make up my mind
Appreciate my find
Find clarity
Joy and serenity
And just fill our days with laughter
And live happily ever after.

But why am I not able to
Stop dreaming cuz it won’t do
My parents will never get it
That you is what I’ve always wanted and needed
We got such different backgrounds
Yet my love knows no bounds
And I might be just hoping too much
Over thinking false hope and such
Cuz you probably forgot bout me
Because you had loved already
But I got really attached and for a reason
I like you that’s my reason

I wish I knew what to do
I wish I would get a text from you
About a date that’s long due
Then we’ll figure out our stuff together
Love harder get smarter do life better
Find the sense of life find the bliss
Live a beautiful life of purpose.

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous December 7, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Very strong and powerfully writen.
    Blaming urself is super natural…I hear u. I hope u find the love and care and support you seek.💟


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