Staying Alive (barely)

A young mother full of promise passed away,
Another luminary male with children to raise.
Good people, capable, full of light and life.
Why, oh why am I the one still alive?
I don’t like myself, I don’t like my life.
I’m trudging through each day just wanting to die.
Feeling an acute loneliness and rage, anger at myself for the shell that I’ve become.
For failing to fix the things I can control, and for the suffering I feel for being alive.
Why am I still alive ?

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