They always tell you to be wary of those 4 letter words
The words that would get your mouth washed out with soap as kid, and the words that you relish saying when you learn them because of their forbidden nature
But they don’t really tell you about the 6 letter word
The word that has the power to steal your breathe and your life away and can bring you to your knees with two short syllables.
They don’t tell you about CANCER
You hear about it of course as part of daily living, about so and so who died at an older age or at the tragic younger age from this disease. And you even read about its causes and treatment because you are a person interested in knowledge.
But you never think it will ever be you
That you will walk into a doctor’s office at the end of your busy work day for a follow up and walk out forever changed
They don’t tell you what you will feel like when your doctor tells you how lucky you are that they caught it so early and at the beginning and may only require a course of medication
They don’t tell you that even after the three years of infertility you’ve been experiencing, infertility is a blessing because if you have been pregnant the cancer would have spread like wildfire
And you want so much to believe that it’s true because it may just be so easy: Just take some medicine and then you’re done
But it still sits in you like a ton of bricks weighing you down
There will be so many doctors appointments, tests and prodding, opinions and uncertainty and not knowing, that you do know
And even more than the thoughts of wondering if you’ll die because of this six letter word
You wonder if your womb that’s meant to hold a child but now holds a usurper, will ever be allowed to be a vessel for life
And you think about how in just one moment your world can change because of a word made up of six letters and two syllables