Raped By Her Brother

Standing near the door
Of the dark room
Shades pulled together
Tightly shut
I close my eyes
My head leans back
My thoughts go blank
I don’t want to think
It feels forbidden
For my brain to see
Something that graphic
That disturbing
Something that raw
Naked, and cruel
A place where no one
Comes back from

At barely
Seven years old
By a perpetrator
She knows and trusts
Her own brother
Rapes her small body
Over and over
Taking something from her
that isn’t for anyone’s taking
He leaves her to live
A life unwanted
In a world of fear
Distrustful and guarded

His eleven year old mind
Was too young
To grasp the severity
Of actions like his
Tears stream down
My burning cheeks
Solemnly thinking of
Her innocence plucked
How I couldn’t protect her
From my brother the rapist
That I love and despise equally

Nothing in life can
Prepare you for this
To have to carry
The shame around
To have to carry
The pain around
Of being the sister
Of a rapist
A life of oblivion
Ripped away
From under my feet

I want to go back
To a time before I knew
Yet there is no path
That leads back

Tell me there’s healing
For a little girl whose fire
Was extinguished
At such a tender age
Who deals with fears
Of being pregnant
When most of
Her friends
Are clueless
To grown up stuff
Like that
Playing games and
Skipping through life
Without a care in the world
They aren’t like her

Dear Lord
I pray for you to heal
All the hearts that
Were broken that day
When the unthinkable
Took place
In a Jewish home
Making this world
A little less bearable

Please help her carry
Those buckets of pain
Wipe away her tears
Laden with shame
Carry her in your arms
So she doesn’t feel
The bed of nails
She walks on each day

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous October 8, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    By far the most heart wrenching post I’ve read on this site. I’m sorry your innocence was taken and mourn with you for a childhood lost.
    Believe in your strength to keep surviving. Reach out to jcw and try to get the help you need to not just survive but to thrive in this world.


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