Raining In On What I Really Want

There I was driving to make it
Driving to run out in the pouring rain
Driving to make sure I was going to be okay with health, parnassa with educating my kid
And it was all piling up
In my face
As the rain poured in front of me
I realized I could do anything to escape
Run to the gym, work, anything that gave me a sense of self
Other than my passion to write

As I dropped my son off at school, I made a sharp turn thinking it was a short cut
As I did with other decisions in my life
As I drove on, I realized my car was in knee high water and the engine light was on
Were ideas sacrificing my resources to make a living as I almost totaled my car?

I responded with a no. No I said, I would return to my home base I wouldn’t sacrifice my quality of life at any cost to make a living. I’m tired of bending myself to make a living. I’m tired of bending myself to meet the demands of life.

No, I was going to ask Gd to bend down to meet my demands. Of being an independent working woman, of surrendering to my needs for once. No I would ask Gd, beg Gd to give me an opening so that I can give to others from my root chakra, my home base. From my core.

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