When Passion Is Not Sustainable

When you were here it was like a moment of time stopped
You crawled into my life by a hairs breath of the shabbos bell

I knew it was gonna be special, but I had nothing to compare it to
It was just awebounding and astounding that I could meet you and fall in love like the movies
The kind of passion that can exhilarate and exonerate any preconceived idea of what you think God is and what you believe you deserve when it comes to loving someone way past how much you love yourself

Because with you
You brought heaven to earth and earth into heaven
Because life is magic when it’s all consuming love with your partner

But we didn’t have the kellim
We didn’t have the vessels to contain our soul empowered generated emunah
That we were supposed to meet, that we were supposed to connect on the level that we did
And leave each other like the kirruvim in the destruction

Its like honey to bees
We found our sweetness
Just not sure if it’s nutritious
To be snacking on something neither confinable to the human eye or exact to the human corruption of what we think We deserve and what we finally receive in this cold brutal reality

So each day I thank Hashem
You came my way
Because through you I could see my greatest self lying and waiting to connect in true connection and outline my life with a partner who can inspire me daily with emunah and casual greatness
Of the movement
Of the depth of a breath
Inside my heart
That keeps yearning for a higher divine consciousness that permeates my being of untold
Assurance in the divine

So let’s light those Chanukah lights
As we can’t seem to have each other in the dark
So we must light to renew our faith in the unknown that our taste of each other will stimulate the final redemption where we can dwell in the Romeo and Juliet combustion of two souls becoming one
Which is my dream to experience with someone like you on the level that we experienced that shabbos
That cold shabbos where we interlocked our bodies into the infinite wonder of being one.
We realized in our nakedness and bareness that our passion for each other was not holy and Hashem would have other plans for us

I’ll never stop loving you
But I know you exist because Hashem put you there
And I will thank Him greatly and bid you farewell because life is too short to be impatient with someone on another team
Another mission

I am tired now
Of yearning

Good night, my love. Be well

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  1. Anonymous December 5, 2018 at 3:51 pm

    So cute. I relate on all levels. And what you write shows you’re pretty strong…

  2. Chana Kaye February 14, 2019 at 8:22 pm

    Wow! Beautiful!


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