I couldn’t breathe
I could only smile in between
His parents’ stares
His mother’s comments
About my thighs that were peeking out my pleated skirt
I was shocked to disbelief
When I was considered the “modern” one
When he was the one peeking under the skirts of women who did not belong to him
Like I belonged to him, or so I thought
What a double standard of wives to husbands
How husbands could do whatever they pleased
But we the women had to birth to breathe
Or divorce to think from a perspective outside of HIS
When I received the get
I felt a rumbling
In my tummy
I felt ill
Without a male soul counterpart
That has been cut
Severed by a rabbi
Until I had a weird feeling when my period passed
With no bleeding
And so I got tested and it was positive
Fertility treatments all of the sudden became helpful at seemingly the wrong time
Boy was G-d laughing now, I felt
And so was I.
With my tummy rumbling.
Once a single divorced mom, now a pregnancy. Wow.
I had a scarlet letter that didn’t belong to me. It was his
And yet it was mine now.