My Scarlet Letter

He cheated
I left
I couldn’t breathe
I could only smile in between
His parents’ stares
His mother’s comments
About my thighs that were peeking out my pleated skirt
I was shocked to disbelief
When I was considered the “modern” one
When he was the one peeking under the skirts of women who did not belong to him
Like I belonged to him, or so I thought
Wow
What a double standard of wives to husbands
How husbands could do whatever they pleased
But we the women had to birth to breathe
Or divorce to think from a perspective outside of HIS
Into ours
Into MINE.

When I received the get
I felt a rumbling
In my tummy
A codependent
Without alcohol
I felt ill
Without a male soul counterpart
That has been cut
Severed by a rabbi
Until I had a weird feeling when my period passed
With no bleeding
And so I got tested and it was positive
Fertility treatments all of the sudden became helpful at seemingly the wrong time
Boy was G-d laughing now, I felt
And so was I.
With my tummy rumbling.
Once a single divorced mom, now a pregnancy. Wow.
I had a scarlet letter that didn’t belong to me. It was his
And yet it was mine now.

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous January 3, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    Sending lots of warmth and strength. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

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