When Your Mom Is Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

Coming home from school each day,
Dreading to see their car in the driveway,
Being scared, wondering what to say,
Hoping against hope that today you were okay.

Hearing you crying all day and night,
Hoping you would wake up and be alright,
Who knows? maybe it was all out of my spite,
All I knew was that nothing right.

At last we got the official diagnosis for real,
Now things made sense and it was slightly easier to deal,
But it did nothing to the way you were starting to feel,
And from all of us happiness, it started to steal.

My life was never going to be the same,
For awhile lots of things just seemed lame,
“I’m really doing better now!” you would claim,
But that just turned into a daily game.

Fake smile plastered on my face,
All the pain I was trying to erase,
Always saying I just needed space,
Everything was so totally out of place.

Never asking questions for fear of the reply,
And whenever you were crying I always had to try,
To make you feel better though it would last shorter then a sigh,
And terrified you were like my friend who wanted to die.

We had to physically force you to do anything at all,
You hated us for it and always tried to stall,
We had to maneuver you around like a doll,
You would do good for awhile but always go back and fall.

The scariest part was we were closer then ever before,
Now we could talk without slamming the door,
But our roles were reversed like the ceiling and the floor,
Being closer to you was temporary, nothing more.

Each and every day I prayed and prayed,
And slowly, so slowly it started to fade,
The depressed episodes, you were starting to trade,
But there was a very costly price that had been paid.

There was never anyone able to see if I was fine,
Everyone was focused on you all the time,
And now that’s not the case and you’re starting to shine,
But I’m scared that one day your situation will also be mine.

Thank G-d the meds are starting to actually work,
And now the bad stuff is just in the murk,
At least for today you don’t seem berserk,
Living in this day and age at least has one perk.

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  1. Anonymous February 3, 2017 at 12:54 am

    Great piece, thank you for sharing it! My mother has bipolar and her mom had type 2 bipolar disorder and thank god she is on the right prescriptions to feel safe and in control of her self. Mental illness is so important to address, take care!

  2. Kenneth H. Ryesky July 25, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    Thank you for posting this. My siblings and I grew up in the household of a mother who had a bipolar disorder, and we are victims. She can change moods in the middle of a sentence. We were blamed for her various episodes, hospitalizations, mood swings, et cetera. We really did not understand what was happening (and neither did she or our other relatives).

    She is now in a senior community where they make sure that she takes her medication. When we were moving her out of the house she lived in for 30+ years we found stashes of medications such as Prozac and lithium, prescribed to her friends.

    She is in her late 80’s, and we would be pleased if she were to make it to 120 with the bipolarity. But it has never been easy on us, and it never will be.


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