Modeh Ani

eyes fluttered open
stretched arms
I lay there
still and quiet
I choke on that prayer
my hands cannot connect
I do not offer thanks to him
the living and eternal king
I wish he had kept my soul
for I am drowning in my own negel vasser
it’s deep and dreary
it’s long and lonesome
please your majesty
pull me out
revive me
mercifully restore my soul
so I can say modeh ani once again

5 Comments

  1. Menachem June 5, 2017 at 11:26 am

    We could write our own siddur… 😊

    E•lohai
    The soul you have given me
    Is broken

    You created it
    You disfigured it
    You imprisoned it
    You restrain it within me

    You will in the future
    End its suffering
    And make reparations
    In a time to come

    But so long as my soul
    Is within me
    It writhes
    Thanks to You
    My G-d
    And G-d of my tormentor

    “Blessed” are You
    Who turns souls
    Into the living dead

    Reply
  2. Tzippy June 5, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    I feel your words powerfully. They were sincere… And maybe I relate some…

    Reply
  3. Allaya June 5, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    This… Is how I feel. Thank you.

    Reply
  4. Bracha June 8, 2017 at 3:31 am

    Words from my own neshama. Words of my life… most days I wish he’d just let go of me. So I can let go.

    Reply

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