Misunderstood Development

Dear loved one,

I fell in love with you, not your illness. I know you are much more than your condition, but do you? They say love stems from giving. I have never felt a statement being so truthful. I fell so deeply for you after spending hours hearing you talking and explaining to me your vision of life. I invested my heart and soul, my emotional energy to understand your hopes and dreams. The time I have spent trying to comprehend the world you live in, where every color of emotion is more vivid than I can imagine. It’s as wonderful as it is painful.

People will tell me I am crazy! Their words penetrate as sharp as a knife would to tender skin. “Life is uncertain and complicated as it is… why throw something extra to the equation?”

The truth is… I wish I could somehow lie to myself and foolishly say, “we will make this work”, but it’s just too soon. I feel like we had the right love at the wrong time. Oh time…

To think it’s been about eight months since we first connected makes my heart ache. I am old fashioned, and due to that I am strongly committed. I will read every book, article and self-help aid I can get. Give you space, create mood charts, go to bed every night at the same time promptly, be your shoulder to cry on, not take what you say so personally, support you, remind you you are worth it, be patient, tell you how much I care about you and how you are not a burden for me, accept your limits, hear you and communicate openly to overcome this as one soul. I will value who you are in the present moment and who you are to become in every step of the way.

You should know though, I would like to feel appreciated and respected. Hear me when I tell you I have challenges too. Appreciate how much I have grown and found myself through my own self-discovery path, even if the road differs greatly from yours. My kind musician, just listen. Listen to the things I talk about dearly. Hear the passion in my voice when I tell you the things I value and care for; see if you can tune them apiece of your own. Respect my ideals, how I view the world as ultimately pure and the hope I have for humanity. I recognize how we understand each other so profoundly, it’s as if we were built for one another. Although, I do want you to accept me as a whole, for whom I am and what I believe in. For what you like and that which you don’t. Be honest with me, and yourself, and only come back for me when you are ready for us. So we together can create a world of our own that won’t necessarily be perfect, but just perfect for us.

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous August 29, 2017 at 11:07 am

    the raw honesty and devotion really struck me..
    So beautifully written…so heartwarmingly painful

    Reply

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