The Invisibility Cloak In Shiddichum

Shidduch crisis
Where there is no one to love
You
When you don’t see the big picture
And how Hashem loves you for you
Like a lost ring
You search and search
Looking for your other half
Single shabbatons
Dreidel galas
You keep looking outside
Under tables for the other half
You try changing your perspective to feel what’s right
Exactly how it should feel
When you relate to your soul mate
Beckoning you with his or her intoxication
Of you
If you choose to feel this love now
And
Trust the connection that exists between you two under the invisible cloak
The soulmate will be revealed
Much sooner than you think
Said the wise man

18.

Beverly hills
Did a whirl on me
Growing up when I was too cool for public school
And too rich for private
When I chose pot over straight A’s to get into film school
I knew it was too good to be true when I fell in love with the rabbi’s daughter in Tzfat
Over old coke and a sicha
That made no sense but it kept us talking
And talking
Until we agreed to marry like it was a mutual understanding that we were meant to be
Until the wedding night that is
When it became clear there would be no sexual union
Because she was afraid of touch
From a man
From years and years of sexual trauma
That remained unnoticed by her devout family
Until she screamed from the pain
With me
That she finally got help
And I just sat there on the hotel bed
Frustrated with my own sexual wants
I wanted her for the illusion she carried of wanting to be mekudeshet that night
Rather then shoveled into womanhood
So I sat there on my bed
And drank some whiskey
Staring at my new wife
I craved the Beverly Hills scene that I could go unnoticed and not have to face my reality
Of being a virgin on my wedding night

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