I’m Asexual

There is something that I’ve been wanting to tell people for a long time, but am just too scared because of I’m not sure how they’ll react. You see, I’m asexual. I have no sexual attraction at all and I hardly ever feel romantic attraction. Now, this would not be a problem if I didn’t live in such a sexualized world where everything and everyone around me is all about relationships, and love etc. “You just haven’t met the right person yet.” “Have you got your hormones checked?” “You’ve only had one experience so how can you know?” These are all things that well-meaning people say to me or to other Asexuals. Well, how do people know they’re straight, or gay or anything else? And no, this has nothing to do with trauma, or anything else like that. This is just the way I am, and the way I’ve always been. I was never interested in boys, never had any crushes, never got nervous or anxious around boys. And I always thought that kissing on the lips was gross. Why would I ever want that? But I also don’t want to be alone the rest of my life. How can I date someone if I’m not supposed to talk to them about what kind of relationship I want until we’ve gone out a few times? How can I date someone if I don’t even know if I will ever have those kinds of feelings for them? My parents want me to keep this a secret, and just date in the regular way, like all my siblings have. While they don’t pressure me to get married again (and I do appreciate that so much), they also don’t want me telling anyone. I wish that I could just be open about it and just be who I am. This is the way Hashem made me, and I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed about.

2 Comments

  1. Anonymous May 17, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    How did you manage to tell my story without being me?

    Reply
  2. Anonymous June 11, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    You have such an incredibly honest sense of self-awareness! Hashem will definitely help you find your life partner. Maybe he’s on this page right now. 😛 (Gotta be honest, as a married woman, there is so little about marriage that is based on sex and attraction anyway. I say that marriage is a holy trinity: Sleep, food and respect. Ain’t nothing about attraction in there.)

    Reply

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