My husband left me this summer. We’ll be married a year this fall.
We were already struggling. Him with emotional affairs and mental and emotional abuse, lashon hara about me to his friends telling them about my places of brokenness and my past.
We agreed to separate. I am less religious than he appears to be, but perhaps more spiritual in my walk with Hashem. I keep kosher and shomer shabbat, but I feel like I’d fit better in a conservative or Conservadox synagogue than his Hassidic preference…. but he left.
He left me in a different state thousands of miles away and says “I’ll be back Baby.” He left me and my kids and found a Hassidic community in the east coast while I am stuck alone in the Midwest, and he keeps telling me he’s coming back to get me and take me out there, but… you know what? I don’t want to go.
I don’t want to leave my kids here with their father and have this man just whisk me away to an isolated life filled with empty promises. I don’t want to leave my family and friends and job. I feel trapped because he won’t agree to a Gett and I have spent every holiday alone.
This is not a marriage. This is a joke, and I feel like the joke is on me. I deserve so much more than this… I deserve a husband who loves me and protects me and lets me love him and cover him the way it’s meant to be. I deserve a best friend who I can snuggle with and spend time with and travel with and laugh with and learn with. Someone who want to grow WITH me….. not 1000 miles away.