There are many times I’ve tried to express what happened to us without losing my way. Losing track of my goal so I’m stating it now. Here. In the beginning. I want you to understand your teenage daughter who rebels. Understand that when she pushes you away she needs you to wait up on the couch all night waiting for her to come home. She wants you to hold her hair back when she vomits and she needs you to visit her boyfriend’s home even though you might hate him and she is passed out on his couch. She needs you to sit next to her and wait for her to wake up and realize you. Her parents aren’t going anywhere. She needs you to be aware that she needs you without telling you. She will be okay, if you take her with you. Gently. With love and self respect. With tears of love and never anger. Just understand, that she is cold confused and very very tired of fighting you.
If she describes what she’s been through, don’t get mad. Listen, buy her ice cream ( very important ;)) and hug her. Show her how proud you are of her inner strength and your belief that she is okay. Most of all tell you trust her to make productive choices and with this she will feel a sense of responsibility for her own successes and failures. You aren’t enabling, you aren’t buying her alcohol or excusing her absences to her school. You are giving her the gift of trust. Trusting oneself is the greatest gift you can give a teenage girl full of self doubt. Love, trust and respect.