I looked for myself in retail therapy;
And found myself in credit card debt.

I looked for myself at the top of a mountain in Guatemala;
And found myself struggling to ascend.

I looked for myself in dating apps;
And found myself in bed with different men.

I looked for myself in the mirror;
And found myself recounting my flaws.

I looked for myself in others;
And found shallow, superficial people.

I looked for myself in alcohol & cocaine;
And found blackouts and depression.

I looked for myself in religion;
And found blessed profanity.

I looked for myself in inspirational quotes;
And found myself with fleeting moments of bliss.

I looked for myself in acupuncture;
And found myself impermanently relaxed.

I looked for myself in the ‘likes’ on social media;
And found myself in stark loneliness.

I looked for myself in a man;
And found out he wasn’t that into me.

I looked for myself in self-loathing;
And found myself in painful, nervous laughter.

I looked for myself in dieting & exercise;
And found myself in utter disappointment.

I looked for myself in the intellectual act of reading;
And found myself with a nightstand obscured in unread books.

I looked for myself in consistency;
And found myself spiritless.

I looked for myself everywhere…
And found myself? Not yet.