Eshet Chayil

When I met you, I thought that everything was going to be different. Wow… A rabbi and Ben Torah, someone who could teach me and lead a family to help me grow closer to the Almighty… a man I love and respect and trusted. I was so excited. I felt like a brand new bride underneath our chuppah.

So time passed… two worlds became one. My husband, you mean the world to me. I wear hair covers and long skirts to my ankles and necklines and keep kosher. I pray for you every day. I wake up early and go to bed late to fulfill my duties and keep niddah laws and I’m shomer negiah.

I keep my words quiet when you say I’m stupid. Or you grab my stomach and tell me I need to watch my calories. And the times you blamed me for things that I didn’t do, I just quietly pray.

I’m strong, and I’m forgiving, but I’m not ok with feeling degraded by the man who I love and trusted. I’m losing my trust in you. I don’t feel covered by you anymore. So I am going to keep doing everything I am doing but your eshet chayil can only take so much. And I’m smart. And I don’t deal with bullshit.

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