Esau

Rebecca, what are you doing
I want to believe that I’m a part of this family too and
I know that dad is lost and mad and driving us to ruin
And I know he has the firepower and the public institutions
But you’re the one who tries to control what we believe
And you’re the one who makes me want to run away and leave
Because I know what you say about me and what you see
Mama, when are you gonna really look at me?

I’m really not so toxic and I’m not so masculine
I don’t really want to fight a war that I can never win
I need more than the country life, I miss the urban bubble
I don’t really want to wed a wife who never gives me trouble
Sometimes I am needy and sometimes I am hungry
Sometimes I am scared to see my brother rise above me
Dad says I’m best at kicking ass and at making money
But even when he likes me I know he doesn’t love me

Rebecca, I have to put you in my past
All the secrets never shared and questions never asked
The cold contempt, the icy glares, the broken looking-glass
My brother is coming to see me now
And morning is coming at last

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