A Different Kind Of Infertility

There is a kind of infertility that no one speaks about but it is so prevalent in our society. No, it is not because of a medical problem or a timing problem but rather a status problem. It is present in the Jewish single men and women who are longing to have a life partner and a family of their own.

I am one of those people, I have friends who are those people, you may even be one of those people.

You see, it’s not really acknowledged, the pain of an unmarried person who longs for kids. But it’s there every day. Its there when I’m told that grandchildren would be nice and when I am reminded of my ticking biological clock. As I watch my married friends go on and have beautiful children, the pain is so present. And while I will love their kids and jump up and down in excitement when they announce their pregnancy and the birth of their children, a part of me inside is hurting.

As I walk through the mall, into clothing stores and see the tiny baby clothing, there is a profound longing and pain to be a wife and mother. I pass through and envision my life with kids and I have a glimmer of hope. I think of the potential, of what I hope will be in the future.

No, it’s not infertility in the traditional sense but for all intents and purposes, it is no different, as it leaves me childless. So, I do the only thing I can do, hold my head up high, rejoice with friends and family who have kids, and pray for my future.

3 Comments

  1. Seraphim May 16, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    You are in my thoughts. I don’t know what your community is like, or if that matters to you (and in my belief, you should always follow your heart), but is adoption an option? If you meet the right partner after you adopt as a single parent, they will love you both.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous May 17, 2018 at 7:44 pm

    My hear and prayers are with you.

    Reply
  3. Moshe May 25, 2018 at 1:44 am

    Once the Rebbe said (regarding a specific yisur) that in order to have children you must do mesirus nefesh(and that sometimes includes transgressing certian prohibitions)….

    Based on that I would suggest you widen your perspective, relax a little in your halachic commitments and that will make much bigger the jewsih group of people you have access to, and make your ability to find a shidduch much greater.

    Better to be modern-orthodox, or less and have family then staying ‘chasidish’ and childless…
    Think about it.

    Reply

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