My Dear Sons… A Letter Of A Baal Teshuva

My Beautiful boys,

For my whole life I knew I was Jewish, and that is why I gave you your beautiful Jewish names. Even though I was raised as a Christian by our misplaced family, it was never a secret where we came from. Your Great grandmother even gave me the baby book coveted by everyone in the family because she said “If anyone is going to use this for anything in their life, it will be you. The names will make it easy for you.”

And so I used the baby book with the list of Jewish names to make my Orthodox Giyur… the happiest day of my spiritual life… but I never expected to almost lose you, my sons, in the process.

Your father has chosen Christianity; your mother is Orthodox Jewish… and I know it’s an opposite world for you. Two different homes. Different holidays. Different teachings.

My firstborn, this would be the year of your bar mitzvah if you were here with me, and oh how I would celebrate! My boy, I pray to Hashem that you will see the beauty of the Torah and the mitzvots even if from afar for now. My heart is always open and I pray everyday for you to understand that I’m still the same mommy; I just follow Hashem very close. I will love you no matter what road you chose, but I will pray until my last breath fro your to chose the derech Hashem.

My sweet second born, I see how you read all the Jewish books and ask so many questions. How you practice the brachas and look forward to the high holidays and Shabbat! You also are caught in between; I know you want to practice but you don’t want to lose your father in your life, and so I am here with open arms when you are old enough to decide your path.

My little one, I know you are so young to understand everything, but my life’s calling is to pour as much truth from the word of Hashem into your heart and pray that it resonates in your mind. May you be protected from false teachings and return with your momma to Eretz Israel BZH.

With every ounce of Love,

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