Dear Lover’s Wife

To my lover’s wife,

I stood within the sun’s rays
As it warmed my being
Eyes shut tightly
Praying for you
Words that I’ve wiped out of my mind
Blame that on shame, perhaps?
Wishing the warmth would heal
My troubled chaotic soul
I pray for you, dear
Wife of my lover
I know my prayers won’t mean much to you
You would probably hate me
If you knew of my existence
I constantly remind myself of yours
And how I need and want to respect you
Could we ever drink tea together?
Share what we both truly admire
About the same exact soul?!

I know forgiveness is not what you’re capable of giving
When secrecy is all you receive
I appreciate all the care and commitment
You share
That I can not
All the quality time
Trips to the hospital
Existing with someone living a double life
I can’t assist him in living a lie
How is that truly living?!
I can’t hold this burden anymore
I can’t disrespect my soul
I can’t disrespect yours

May you feel genuinely comforted.
May you both have the courage to live your personal true truth.
May your children have the privilege of recognizing your husband’s profound psyche, that is hidden under layers of pure darkness.

Warmly,
Your husband’s Ex lover

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