I promised my husband I would go to shul on Rosh Hashana. The torture was unbearable, everyone calling my rapist a King, singing songs of all the promises he keeps and love he shows. It made me sick to my stomach.
I stood up for shmoneh esrai and told god exactly what I thought of him.
“Maybe you’ve fooled them, but I know who you really are. I abhor you. I want nothing to do with you. I may have loved you earlier in my life but now, you are dead to me. You molest me, you rape me, you take the very thing I love most in this world and rip it from my life. You are sick and deserve none of this bullshit praise they’re singing to you”.
And with that, I walked out, thinking of all the years I’ve spent loving and hoping to this piece of shit god, wishing I could unsee him from the world.
Damn you god.