Every cell of my soul and heart is coated in bruises. Despite desperate begging prayers made even in childhood, my life feels like it has been one long beating. And now at middle age, I…
Browsing Category Depression
I Am Alive Because I Love My Parents
I am alive because I love my parents. I don’t want to break their heart by ceasing to live. But I can’t stand my reality. My body, my life, my lack of purpose.. The emptiness,…
Every Day Is Tisha B’av
Tisha Baav, The saddest day, Tears and emotions are now okay. In groups or alone, Tapping into the meaning, Trying to understand galus is what they are acheiving. For me, it’s not that way, Today…
Depression: The Flaw In Love
I am a child. Don’t let this beard fool you. Beneath the hairs on this chest is a heart weak from fear. I am a child lost at a train station, surrounded by big, confident…
What Joy Is There?
I’ve always been a happy person. I’ve always been brimming with joie de vivre, singing and dancing in the streets kind of happy. And now months pass by with no joy. No satisfaction. Nothing that…
Triggers, Abuse, The Daily Effect
Have you ever been traumatized to the point where you can’t formulate a sentence in your brain Where your mind can’t find two words to ever make sense, where it can’t gather the scattered absent…
Will I Ever Forgive And Forget?
Ever since I remember I loved to write. I’ve been through an extreme difficult childhood. I was abused several times and trusted no one. My only outlet was my pen. Until I went to camp…
Seminary /Mental Health
Yikes! I’m writing a lot today, but here goes. I want to broach an important topic that’s buried deep in my heart. First let me explain what seminary is. Typically, after high school one goes…