Balancing Act

No one knows. No one can. None of you truly know me. I’m alone in the crowd. Too religious for these, too modern for those, a radical feminist, a religious fanatic from the dark ages. And where does that leave me?

Balancing.

On the fence between one world and another, trying not to fall, constantly checking my footing. Because that’s what I’m supposed to do. Life isn’t about finding perfect balance between the old and new, between being a good Jew and being a part of the word. It’s about searching, trying to find that balance. And when I fall, I just have to hope that He’ll be there to pick me up and set me right. Because it’s so hard sometimes. I don’t know where I want to be.

Where should I be? Where’s right for me? Is there anyone out there who can understand the struggles I’m going through, who could be my soulmate? Because I’m at that stage in life, and they want to help. They really do. But are they reading me right, are they understanding where I’m coming from? Because where I’m going to is something that even I don’t know.

Will I find that balance, will I reach the Promised Land? No human being can ever know anything with certainty. All I can ever do is try, strive, tiptoe and balance. And either I’ll get there in the end or it’ll all come crashing down on my head.

Because in this world, this crazy, lively, falling-apart world, who truly knows anything? What’s real anyway?

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous May 11, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    I could have written this. It’s hard being in the middle. Best wishes.

    Reply

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