Again

They are doing it again. My husband and my younger children. Trying to send me signals of something.

A couple of the games that are recurring in playing with are monopoly deal and uno and a form of Yahtzee cards games.

card games. I don’t get what the message is. Tho with Uno. I think it’s telling me to be single and leave my husband. Then I find certain bentchers or books on the table laid out in a certain way. I’m not certain what the message is. My therapist is right. It is very confusing. What are you telling me?
I know for certain the following. My husband makes eyes at his son He makes those same eyes as me. I’m pretty certain he’s trying to use reverse psychology on me

I think he’s using reverse psychology on me bc he doesn’t believe that his son is his son. Yet he’ll act/ say things like he does. Etc. small signs like the way he looks at him. The way he says “him” etc.

reverse psychology doesn’t work. Not in this case. Bc I’m telling the truth. My little boy is his little boy. But it’s so that my little boy does not feel loved by his own father. Who is rejecting him somewhat bc of someone else.

I still believe that my husband is involved with the other woman. I believe this bc of the following. The way he looks at the closet. The way he looks at me and our son. The way he acts. The way he brainwashed my children against me. The way he doesn’t really talk to me but he talks to the closet. I wish someone could help me besides my therapist. Someone who can get me out of this situation. Someone who can guide us. Someone who can tell my husband to give me a divorce. Or to go for some serious help. I don’t know tho. I’m tired of being treated this way. I don’t know what to do. Truth knocks at my door. Not his. Please help me.

Some times I ask Hashem to take me by the hand. Yet. Sometimes I feel so alone. Hashem. Hold me. I’m your little girl. Give me hope. Give me life. Help me out of the situation and someone who’ll love me for being me. Not for what I’m not. The please Hashem guide me to the right hands. People I can trust. People who will help me and help me stand up on my own. And to enable me to take Care of my children. Give me life laughter love. Help me help my little boy who’s in so much pain. Give me the ability to care for them. Give me the strength to take care of my own. Give me the strength to stand up to my bullies. Even if they are part of my family. Give me the strength courage and resources to enable me to stand up for myself and my children from those who are hurting me

Your daughter

2 Comments

  1. Mendel April 27, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    ­čśó

    Reply
  2. chaya April 28, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    Heartbreaking. You took a first step by sharing these thoughts. Strength will surely come!

    Reply

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